Twice is nice

As a couple that has lived together for five years we have definitely figured out the unspoken bathroom rules. There is no getting around our body’s need to excrete…waste products.

1. Mike leaves a…
2. I just need to use the bathroom…for whatever reason.
3. It’s ok for Mike to pee with the door open or while I am trying to brush my teeth.
4. I just need to use the bathroom…for whatever reason.
5. If Mike is spending extra reading time I can ask him a question if needed.
6. I just need to use the bathroom…for whatever reason…no disturbances allowed.
7. Twice is nice no leftovers allowed.

While these rules may seem a little rigid they are not that uptight. Discussion about intestinal failure, sickness, etc., is perfectly fine. After all it is no fun to not being feeling good and then not be able to tell someone why.

However the rules are not supposed to be broken which is why I was quite alarmed when #6 was violated for the first time by Mike. It was not even violated because there was an emergency. He violated the rule while on the phone with his mother discussing our wedding dress code.

Knock

Him: Hey

Alarm. Is the door locked?

Me: Yea…

Him: S wearing a suit is fine right?

Seriously?

Me: Yea, yea. Fine.

Go away.

So much for my womanly attempt at bathroom mysteriousness; or maybe that is what our gendered bathroom rules are: weird, strange, and ridiculous. Still, I am not ready to give them up just yet…