What's in a name

Over the course of my engagement family and friends have treaded lightly around my last name. Would I keep my last name, hyphenate, or get rid of it to acquire my fiance’s last name? I still cannot pronounce my future hubbie’s last name correctly. I am glad that I have the freedom to be able to choose what to do with the whole last name situation although I never would have guessed that it would have felt so loaded with meaning for me.

Some thoughts:

1. I have decided that I cannot hyphenate the two names together. My name would be forever long as I already have two middle names.

2. If I give up my current last name I would be cutting off the last connection I have to my deceased father and to a family I never really got to know. Plus, changing my last name would be a huge pain in the ass.

3. Men have the option to change their last names though it would take one mighty search to find a man who doesn’t bawk at the idea. I can’t help but wonder if I take on this part of my fiancé what part of me will he take on?

I have actually already decided that I would change my last name even though I have some mixed feelings about it. Ultimately, I see changing my last name as an opportunity to add to my identity.

Twice is nice

As a couple that has lived together for five years we have definitely figured out the unspoken bathroom rules. There is no getting around our body’s need to excrete…waste products.

1. Mike leaves a…
2. I just need to use the bathroom…for whatever reason.
3. It’s ok for Mike to pee with the door open or while I am trying to brush my teeth.
4. I just need to use the bathroom…for whatever reason.
5. If Mike is spending extra reading time I can ask him a question if needed.
6. I just need to use the bathroom…for whatever reason…no disturbances allowed.
7. Twice is nice no leftovers allowed.

While these rules may seem a little rigid they are not that uptight. Discussion about intestinal failure, sickness, etc., is perfectly fine. After all it is no fun to not being feeling good and then not be able to tell someone why.

However the rules are not supposed to be broken which is why I was quite alarmed when #6 was violated for the first time by Mike. It was not even violated because there was an emergency. He violated the rule while on the phone with his mother discussing our wedding dress code.

Knock

Him: Hey

Alarm. Is the door locked?

Me: Yea…

Him: S wearing a suit is fine right?

Seriously?

Me: Yea, yea. Fine.

Go away.

So much for my womanly attempt at bathroom mysteriousness; or maybe that is what our gendered bathroom rules are: weird, strange, and ridiculous. Still, I am not ready to give them up just yet…

Sexing up the honeymoon

I can’t decide. Writing about my future honeymoon and Victoria’s Secret or the movie Precious…? It’s Friday, so I think I will keep it light, but you should check out the movie Precious.

My fiancés parents have generously offered us their timeshare points so that we may have a honeymoon – without it we surely would end up on a “beach” enjoying the frigid waters of Lake Champlain in Vermont. We started to peruse our options, which I actually found overwhelming. Argg! No more wedding stuff. After my brain went dead from scrolling through the options I went to go numb out on the couch and was delighted to find yet another Victoria’s Secret catalog that I had not gotten around to flipping through. Then the light went on!

Me: Oh! Yah!

Mike: What?

Me: It’s our honeymoon. I get to buy new sexy lingerie and swimsuits!

Mike: (He rolls his eyes and goes back to playing his Xbox)

Ok so it is true I buy a new…or rather a few new swimsuits every year. But I swear it is because I have not found the perfect swimsuit and I figured I should enjoy my youth why I can. But wait. Shouldn’t he maybe kick up the sexy factor for our honeymoon too? Why is it often the woman’s, and/or in my soon to be case, the wife’s sole job to make sure the heat gets turned up? It is true that I enjoy the acquisition of Victoria’s Secret probably more than either Mike or our joint checking account. Nonetheless, I do not want this weird gendered role where I am the sole keeper of sexy. Women unite! We must demand the Victoria’s Secret for men. Why does this bring a weird catalog to mind where the primary shoppers are gay men and middle age women shopping for their husbands?

Oh well. I am not sure I am going to be able to settle this one now. I will just enjoy my new acquisitions and of course the look on my fiancés face. Not the one where he see’s our checking ledger; the “I cannot contain myself” one when I come strutting out in my new come-hither lingerie.