At first my "surprise" bridal shower seemed like it would be a tolerable idea. Unfortunately, I was brought back to my senses when my surprise bridal shower required my participation in the planning. Sometimes binuclear families suck. My friends emailed me trying to figure out who I wanted to invite. I already made the shit list for the wedding guest list cuts, so in my every effort to not decide the invitees I gave them the mothers’ email addresses and a list of the women invited to the wedding.
Having not been to a bridal shower I have no idea what to expect. Scary games? Then, Kait reminded me of the other “haha” funny part of bridal showers such as the wonderful lingerie piece from the soon to be mother-in-law. The thought of lingerie floating around is not what horrifies me. It is the thought that my mother-in-law would love it because she wants me popping out babies right away, and if it meant that she would have to promote my having sex with her first born, well, she’d happily endure it. (Sorry TA; you can always seek revenge by buying me a butt plug instead.)
Then there is my own mother who is definitely a burn your bra sexual freedom lady. While bridal dress shopping my sister reminded me of when my mother attempted to act out the sex scene with Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton from Monster’s Ball…in front of my sister’s husband. If you have not seen this movie you just don’t understand. Perhaps, my mother can give a butt plug tutorial at the bridal shower.
Family members are crazy and that’s why I love them. I am sure the bridal shower will be a fantastic female event (thanks girls!) where I will no doubt now finally receive the butt plug of my dreams and the much needed lesson from my mother – preferably after we eat the cake.
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