I was unblessed with cold sores. You can call it herpes. I refuse. They are cold sores, which we all know are located on the lips…of the mouth. I get cold sores far less as an adult than when I was a teenager though getting them still sucks just as much. Yesterday I got a cold sore and my period. Yuck. This situation brings about a horrible memory and a guilty thought.
Memory: In college I took a sex class. It had more of an official title, but everyone knew it as sex class. It was where anal sex was discussed all of the time. In the first class everyone had to write down three questions and every class they would randomly be picked and answered. Well, apparently everyone had questions about the backdoor.
And then there was herpes, which really is not all that bad unless like me you have a whopping throbbing cold sore on the day you discuss herpes. In sex class it is nice to feel like you could be a potential sex partner, but this definitely gets shot down when you have a big STD on your lip. Thanks mom. I tried really hard to awkwardly position my hand over part of my mouth to avoid being asked to stand in front of the class as a demonstration of what a herpe might look like. It was the longest three hour class I have ever taken.
Thought: Poor Mike. Talk about a long weekend.
My slight guilt quickly went away this morning when I discovered that after clipping his most disgusting dirty foul creepy Gollum toe nails he did not pick up the ewwwww. Clearly, my stress induced cold sore occurred out of prescience. As usual it’s his fault.
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