Getting familiar

Every year I go for my annual gyn exam, and every year my doctor walks in and introduces herself to me as if it was our first time meeting. This year was different as I opted for a “Hope” appointment where I skipped the dreaded stirrup pelvic exam and instead talked about my medical history, got my blood pressure checked, and then renewed my prescription.

This year was even more different when after the introduction she said I looked familiar. Yet, my vagina was fully clothed. I only become familiar when I’m clothed? Is that good or bad? Perhaps, it would be slightly more uncomfortable if while my doctor was sitting between my legs she then said I looked familiar. We then would ponder what that means.

There is another much more important point to consider. How familiar are we with our own vaginas, vulvas, whatever? If women were shown pictures of genitalia would they be able to pick out their own? It is probably time to start friendly introductions to our own bodies until each part can be familiar. I say familiar because frequent reintroductions are important. After all we are always changing.

Sparkles don't belong there

WTF vajazzle?! Ok, so I have heard a lot about this whole Jennifer Love Hewitt vajazzle thing lately; well just that it is something about adorning the vajayjay (not my word I hate it) area with some sparkly shit. Seriously? Some things are not meant to be sparkly. After once again seeing some hater vajazzling comments I decided to use my friend google to search vajazzle.

The first website is...

RATE MY VAJAZZLE

Naturally I clicked on it. Could it possibly actually contain vajayjays all vajazzled? And it does! With no “you must be an adult to enter warning”! The first picture was horrifying. Why on earth would a woman put sticky sparkly fake diamond dots on her vulva? Here I was all worried about the trendiness of pubic hair when really I should have been worried about finding the right vajazzle. Maybe I should just be worried that women are still clueless about their anatomy.

Message: The vagina (vajayjay) is not the vulva.

I feel bad for tween girls and hope that this gross misogynistic fad ends quickly and never reaches their already too vulnerable minds. I am officially a vajazzle hater.